I’ve been debating for months whether or not to write such a personal post on my blog as once it’s out there, it’s out there! One of my reasons for not posting is that should my next IVF cycle fail then I don’t want the reminder on my blog of how my life could have been had the IVF worked. I also don’t want my blog to become all about infertility either. It is estimated that one in seven couples (3.5 million people in the UK) have difficulty in conceiving, which means that it is quite likely that you will either know someone or be the person that this is happening to. So I decided to man up and post about it as it seems to be a subject that no-one really likes to talk about but seeing as it is becoming a common problem I think it should be something everyone is aware of.
We decided to stop using contraception when we were 29 with the attitude of “if it happens, it happens”. We naively thought we had plenty of time to try properly and also you always hear of people who get pregnant within the first couple of months of trying so obviously it wouldn’t take too long. After a few months I wasn’t too bothered that I wasn’t pregnant, I mean I was now 30 and you hear about women falling pregnant in their 40’s all the time in the media so I still had years ahead of me for it to happen. After a year I did start to wonder if there was a problem with me. Or was the problem with him? I just pushed it to the back of my mind for a few more months before deciding to go to the Doctor about it. To cut a long story short all the blood tests, semen analysis, scans, swabs even an exploratory laparoscopy came back with nothing abnormal found and we were given the diagnosis that we had “unexplained infertility” which means that they don’t know why it’s not happening for us. We were given the option of IVF but at that point we decided against it as we felt it was too invasive and also we were told there was no reason for it not to happen naturally.
A few more years had gone by and there was still no sign of a baby coming along, with every month that passed and Facebook announcement that one of my friends were pregnant I felt myself getting further and further depressed about the fact that here we were years later and still not pregnant. So back to the Doctor I go for yet more blood tests, swabs, scan, etc and still the result came back as normal, for a second time we were referred off to the Fertility Clinic but this time we decided to try for IVF.
From Pinterest
We were invited to an open evening at the hospital to explain what goes on through the IVF process last May and we were then booked in for starting IVF in mid July. July passed very quickly due to the daily injections, check ups to the clinic, egg retrieval and then finally embryo transfer. I had two embryos transferred at the end of July and I had to wait two weeks to find out if it had worked. If you have ever been through IVF or trying to conceive naturally you will know that these two weeks feel like two years as time just drags by. Now as there was nothing wrong with us and the fact that we were able to fertilise the eggs on our own it was bound to work wasn’t it?! Wrong!! I started bleeding the day before my test date. Obviously we were both upset but determined to try again as it doesn’t work first time for everybody, does it? Round 2 happened in February this year and again it failed.
From Pinterest
So August this year is when we are going to do Round 3 of IVF. Unsure yet whether this will be our last try as you can only put yourself through so much before you can’t give anymore. Belle from Part of Belle’s World explains it so well here. So in a few weeks I will be going for an endometrial scratch where they scratch my womb lining so hopefully after the next period the lining will grow back differently and help the embryo implant when the time comes. As this is maybe our last shot at it I’m throwing everything I can at it, I’ve started acupuncture, taking so much supplements that I’m rattling and just trying to be as stress free as I can. Oh and also keeping everything crossed that it will definitely be third time lucky for us!!
Do you suffer or know someone that suffers from infertility? Have you had ivf, successfully or not? I’d love to hear from you?
Hi Claire, thanks for reading (and keeping your fingers crossed, can you keep the like that until September?!) it was hard to write at the beginning but then it just flowed after that. Wasn't as bad as I thought writing about it would be 🙂 xx
You are so brave to talk about this Denise. I know there are women who struggle with infertility issues and would look at your post as inspiration! I hope and pray that everything works out for you 🙂
Thanks so much, Pilar! It really means a lot :)! Hopefully it does, it's certainly made me feel better after writing it. Thanks so much for reading too xx
I'm so glad you found the courage to share this, I know it's not easy to write but hope it helped you feel a little better just getting it all out, I know it did for me. Wishing you all the luck in the world for you next cycle xx
Hi Belle, you are so right it does make you feel better once you write about it. It was actually you that inspired me to write about it as you were like me before and didn't want to put it on your blog but you were brave and wrote about it. Also your new post was the turning point as it explains so well how we feel that unless you are going through it yourself you have no idea what we go through.
Hugs, huge hugs to you, it's such a horrible journey to be on, our first two ICSIs didn't work and we're heading for a frozen embryo transfer in the autumn. I have a feeling you may be one of the lovely ladies from the MSE forum, if you are, 'hello' and *waves* – and even if you're not it's still 'hello' and *waves* 🙂 I know what you mean about only being able to go through so much – I constantly change my mind between not being able to go through it again (thinking "what's the point, it'll just die inside me") and not giving up without a jolly good fight (thinking "as long as we can afford it, how can we throw away all those potential chances?"). It's such a cliche but it really is a rollercoaster. I'm keeping everything crossed for you for round 3 xxx
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It must be so hard to write this! My fingers are crossed for you lovely <3 Gisforgingers xx
Hi Claire, thanks for reading (and keeping your fingers crossed, can you keep the like that until September?!) it was hard to write at the beginning but then it just flowed after that. Wasn't as bad as I thought writing about it would be 🙂 xx
You are so brave to talk about this Denise. I know there are women who struggle with infertility issues and would look at your post as inspiration! I hope and pray that everything works out for you 🙂
Thanks so much, Pilar! It really means a lot :)! Hopefully it does, it's certainly made me feel better after writing it. Thanks so much for reading too xx
I'm so glad you found the courage to share this, I know it's not easy to write but hope it helped you feel a little better just getting it all out, I know it did for me.
Wishing you all the luck in the world for you next cycle xx
Belle x Part of Belle's world
Hi Belle, you are so right it does make you feel better once you write about it. It was actually you that inspired me to write about it as you were like me before and didn't want to put it on your blog but you were brave and wrote about it. Also your new post was the turning point as it explains so well how we feel that unless you are going through it yourself you have no idea what we go through.
Fingers crossed for Oct/Nov for you xx
Hugs, huge hugs to you, it's such a horrible journey to be on, our first two ICSIs didn't work and we're heading for a frozen embryo transfer in the autumn. I have a feeling you may be one of the lovely ladies from the MSE forum, if you are, 'hello' and *waves* – and even if you're not it's still 'hello' and *waves* 🙂
I know what you mean about only being able to go through so much – I constantly change my mind between not being able to go through it again (thinking "what's the point, it'll just die inside me") and not giving up without a jolly good fight (thinking "as long as we can afford it, how can we throw away all those potential chances?"). It's such a cliche but it really is a rollercoaster. I'm keeping everything crossed for you for round 3 xxx