7 Signs You Live With A Toddler

With Noah turning two next month toddlerhood is in full swing!  With babies your home is still your home with the exception of the baby paraphernalia around your house.  Things like changing mats, the odd toy here and there, a play mat, etc.  However once that baby becomes a toddler then your home is taken over by an untidy, sometimes grumpy flat mate!!  Your home quite often looks as though a grenade has gone off in it as well as having more toys than Hamley’s. Here are 7 signs that you live with a toddler.

7 Signs You Live With A Toddler

Toys

Everywhere you look you are surrounded by toys.  Bits of Duplo, cars, ride ons and crayons in the living room.  Happyland people and animals in the bedroom.  52863 bath toys. Swing, slide and sand table in the garden.  They have even somehow managed to migrate into our bedroom.  You can guarantee that most of his toys will have been taken out at least once a day.  Don’t even bother trying to tidy up while theres a toddler around!  As soon as a toy is spotted being put away that gives them the green light to drag it back out to play with for 5 minutes before they get bored of it then wander away.
 
 

 
 

Safety Items

Obviously child safety is very important but you now view your home with potential hazards in mind.  You look around your home and think “Is there anything that they can impale themselves on/take their eye out/burn down the house with?!”  Potential weapons are then swiftly removed and kept in a child locked cupboard, furniture corners are covered with protectors and candles are placed way up high so that even short arses like myself can no longer reach them!
 
 

Sticky handprints, Smears and Snot

Windows, doors, tv and even clothes are quite often covered in sticky handprints, smeared with food or covered in snot.  Anything that is touchable is fair game.To be fair the cats are also guilty of leaving nose prints on the window so that can’t all be blamed on the toddler!  I think I should have shares in Method as I seem like I’m always carrying a bottle around with me to wipe whatever nastiness is around.
 
 

Food

By the end of the day my living room floor and sofas are covered in splodges of congealed porridge, bits of cereal, biscuit crumbs, pieces of chopped fruit and grains of rice!!  No wonder Violet is getting fat even though she’s on diet food!  I’m not sure who is hoovering up more, her or the Dyson?!  Even my bag isn’t immune to half eaten food items and crumbs.  Quite often I’m looking through my bag and will come across a half eaten pack of Pom bears or broken biscuits.
 
 

Silence

Who doesn’t love a bit of peace and quiet?  Just being able to sit down and enjoy a hot (not lukewarm) drink.  Or being able to catch up with some trashy tv.  Unfortunately when you live with a toddler that’s just not going to happen!  There always seems to be screaming, tantrums, playing with noisy toys on the go unless they are asleep.  If there is a quiet spell when their eyes are open….Be afraid.  In fact, be very afraid!!  Usually that means that they are up to no good!  During such quiet spells I have found felt pen ‘drawings’ on our flooring as well as our sofa, found him standing on top of the coffee table as well as the contents of my bag strewn all over the floor.
 
 

 
 

Going To The Bathroom

When I used to go out drinking with my friends I never headed to the toilets alone.  One or more used to come along and we’d have a yap, drink our drink, apply our lip gloss/more perfume and do our hair. Nowadays I have a little friend who usually comes in to the toilet with me. This time there’s no alcohol involved (sadly!).  However there is plenty of chat. Usually a “Whassat” as his finger points to something he sees in the bathroom. Or he will barge in and rip pieces off the toilet roll. Sometimes one or even both cats come in too and meow along to the “Whassat” conversation or try to drink water out of the tap. If I dare shut the bathroom door the little thug will hammer it with his fists until either the door or me are at breaking point!!
 
 

Saying No

I think I must say “No!” oooooh about eleventy billion times a day!  There are some variations to that, y’know just so it doesn’t get boring. Saying things such as: “Don’t do that!”, “Leave it!” , “Get off of there!” or even just a “Noooooooooooooooooo!” at 140 decibels.  I usually find that one the most effective in stopping him from doing something he shouldn’t.
 
 

Image courtesy of Hearing Health Foundation (with my added bit)

 
 
Thats my 7 signs that you live with a toddler but there’s definitely quite a few more signs out there.  What signs have I missed off that your toddler does?  Let me know below.

If you are looking for other parenting posts:

The Reality Of Being A Mum Is………

Autumn Books For Toddlers

Parenting Alphabet Challenge